Bakura and Marik's advice column
by Rueky Ishtar
Summary: umm, just ask Marik and Bakura whatever you want p.s. you can ask other ygo characters and me too. Have fun!
1. Chapter 1

**What's up bro's! I decided to start an advice column so I hired Marik and Bakura to take questions, just ask anything via review and they will give you the best (or craziest) answers they can come up with. Have fun bro's!**

**Marik-... *taps desk* ... OK SOMEONE ASK A FRIGGEN QUESTION!**

**Bakura- Marik they have to bloody review before they can ask questions, so be patient... **

**Marik- Shut up kitty! I am patient!**

**Bakura- yeah you are... *cough cough* not *Cough***

**Marik- go wank yourself you limey.**

**Bakura- hey! no need for that kind of language!**

**Rueky- ok... boys stop fighting or I'll have to spank you in front of the viewers!**

**Bakura & Marik- *shut up and sit still* yes ma'am!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Phantombrat says,**

So, I guess we ask the questions here... Well, here goes. I am a serious collector of a certain trading card game. Anyways, I was in the middle of making a deal with a friend when this guy interrupts and says that the card I was trying to sell for about $5 less than its online value according to one site is totally worthless. He then proceeds to look through my binders and starts pulling out cards that he wants. I tell him to replace them in their proper places as I am unwilling to part with these cards. He then sees a card that I had just recently received in the mail, T.C Hyper Librarian, and asks what I want for it. I say that it's not up for sale, trade, or nothing and to put it back. The guy asks about three more times and each time I tell him to leave it alone as it is my only tells me that I shouldn't have my trades in with my 'keeps' and that I am 'too sensitive and obsessive over one stupid card. All I say is that I'm a girl and am entitled to be that way. So...Was I right in my actions and what would you have done? By the way, Marik, your lack of education is showing.

Rueky- Ok don't worry I had the exact same problem one day, I think you did the right thing cause I certanly didn't. take it from me when someone whines about your cards kicking them in the nuts is not a good idea.

Marik-No It's not!

**Guest says,**

Bakura (and Ryou) Hey ryou have you ever been bullied? Just tell me who and I will rip out their hands and eyes...etc  
As for bakura.. Do you like streak fully raw or just a little bit rawish, I honestly like it just raw.  
Marik, are you SURE you're not gay?

Ryou- well, does Bakura count?  
Bakura- what was that Ryou?  
Ryou-N-nothing l-love of m-my life!

Bakura-I like straight off the animal blood and everything!

Marik-yep! I am 100% straight!

**Hidden amongst shadows says,**

Two questions. When You two were temporarily sharing a mind could you read each others thoughts? And Marik... I'm not conplaining but whats with your purple hoody? (great q/a thing btw!)

Bakura- I could he couldn't, I found some rather 'Intresting' thoughts in there *smirks*

Marik- It shows off my sexy abbs and it goes with my eyes, whats with your red sweater!

**BakurasGirl123 says,**

hey bakura what would u do if someone kept staring at u? because that happened when I was at school.

Bakura- Tell them to sod off and if that doesn't work punch them in the face and add insult to injury  
Marik-Fluffy that's not nice!

**Atem-fan4eva says,**

Okay for Bakura! Yeah that's right fluff bunny, I'm talking to you ;)If I were to put sleeping pills in your drink that would keep you out cold for a good few hours, then secretly put rabbit ears on your head and five you a fluffy bunny tail with paws amd everything. Then paint your nose pink and give you fake whiskers with a bunch of carrots surrounding you and then lock you in a cage. Then take a few dozen pictures and put it online where EVERYONE can see... What would you do?

Bakura- uuuuuuuuugh, Im not a cat or a rabbit let's get that straight! now take those pictures down this instant or I will, SEND YOU TO THE SHADOW RELM!

**SincereJoyy says,**

Bakura(&maybe ryou) : what do u think of all the stories where you 2 get together? does ryou get bullied by girls? cuz he looks really feminine, so they probably think so. bakura what do u think of d name Florence?Marik(& maybe malik) : same 1st ? as bakura & ryou. Marik...where do u get ur hair-gel?! malik...how many girls faint when u talk to them? :)

Ryou- well actually in the manga version of Yugioh girls went gaga for me so no I don't really get bullied by girls.

Bakura- I despise every tender fic out there, burn them like witches! I also do not go by Florece so don't call me that you bloody fangirl!

Marik- I hate my yami, he tried to kill me, if you tried to pair us in a story it would be a death rape story.  
Malik- I would very much enjoy that *Evil smirk*


	3. Chapter 3

**Animechick9000** **says**,

Dear Ryou, Marik, Bakura, Ryou- what is your favorite yu-gi-oh pairing? Marik- why do you wear a purple shirt, I mean black would look awesome on you! Bakura- how would you feel if you were genderbended? All three- Can I get a hug? :D

Marik-I have no fav. pairing, Im single and straight!  
Bakura- *Mumble mumble* th-shipping...  
Ryou-*Blushes* I like d-deathshipping.

Marik- Cause I look awesome in it and it shows off my eyes, but I think I'll try your black shirt thing.

Bakura- I'll kill every kitten on earth  
Rueky-*Smacks* I'm a cat!

Bakura-No.  
Marik-Sure  
Ryou-*Opens arms and blushes*

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Dear Bakura and Marik,

I'm the future head of Kaiba Corp, Arisu Kaiba. I have a couple of questions to ask.1. Marik, do you have an Evil Council of Doom? If you do I want to join! * laughs like a lunatic* 2. Bakura, you become one ( join) with Kaiba corp yes? * holds onto bloodstained drain pipe with creepy purple aura surrounding her* You can't send me to this fictional Shadow Realm illusion thing since I have many "friends" there... * laughs like a psycho* Want a cupcake?! * hands out cupcake that is filled with poison

Marik- yes I do, you can only join if you swear you allegiance to me, give up your own lifestyle for my own and worship me everyday, also you must sign this contract *Hands contract*

Bakura- *Smirks* why hello Russia, I'd love to become one with you, but unfortunatly I have the power to defy you and I'm taken anyway.

**Theabrigdedkuriboh says,**

I have a question for Bakura. Did you hate the sweater that Ryou wore to Duelist kingdom. No offence but it looked way cuter on Ryou.  
And for Marik. Why did you change your look in season 5? The hoodie look was way better.

Bakura-I burned it cause it was so bloody itchy!, I like our t-shirt better.

Marik- I lost it when I was on the blimp *Tears up* I liked that shirt... *Sniffs and wipes eyes*

**Bakurasgirl123 says,**

bakura how do u feel about darkshipping(yamixbakura) and marik what about thiefshipping? and now I'm gonna go kidnap Mokuba.

Bakura-... no, just no.

Marik-eww no he'll give me feline leukemia! and I'll die! no way i'd date him anyway because IM STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW!  
Bakura- bullshit.

**Phantombrat says,**

Ok. For Bakura,  
Say that you have two sisters and one of them is single and the younger of the two is dating. What would you do if the older sister is talking to the younger and the younger's boyfriend asks if the older sister is cuter? I had this happen and asked my sister to kick her boyfriend in the shin...HARD.  
For Marik,When you swear, you show your lack of intelligence. Try to aim for more advanced words. You mess with more people that way, especially if you understand the word(s) you used. Like this excerpt from one of my fics, it was aimed at Bakura: Oh, go and eat your disease-ridden, uncooked, still bleeding slab of muscle and leave me alone you mentally ill pilpherer. Far funnier and messes with their minds.

Bakura-I don't understand how am I supposed to respond to that, it's a statement not a question... go away and come back when you have questions.

Marik-heh?...


	4. Chapter 4

**Bakurasgirl says,**

marik what would you say if I knew where your purple hoodie was?

Marik- I would say, Please tell me where it is! I'll do anything! *Instantly regrets his decision*

**MetTheRealWorls says,**

For Bakura, the shadow relm doesn't scare me. what are you going to do about that.  
Ryou- could we be friends? you seen cool  
Yugi-your hair... how?

Bakura- *Shruggs* hold this *stabs a knife into your stomach and walks away.

Ryou-sure, but please don't leave me...

Yugi-I don't even know I was born like this,

**theabridgedkuriboh says,**

I have a few questions.

Bakura: If you could kill only one person who would it be?  
Ryou: If you could switch personalities with anyone for a day who would it be?  
Marik: If you could change anyone's clothing style besides Bakura who would it be?  
Yami: Would you die without leather pants?  
Malik: Why are you creepy?  
Kaiba: Why do you hate Joey, honestly?

Bakura- you *smokes a cigarette

Ryou-Yugi, cause then I'd have a nice other me.

Marik-Yami and Yugi, they wear such tacky clothes.

Yami-Nah, just without my leather shoes.

Malik-Really? well, try being born for the soul perpose of dealing with someone elses pain, then we'll talk.

Kaiba-I dont really 'hate' him, I just have high standards.

**Mach 9 says,**

Bakura... What are one of you likeable.. pairings? A) vexshipping with a physo tea (Mariku-type of phsyo) B) darkshipping with a emotionable yami C) tendershipping with a seme ryou? You can't choose death or no choose. Marik... Who would you marry A) Mai B) Bakura C)Tea Same as bakura you can't choose death or no choose before you ask yes I'm fanboy!

Bakura- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!? *grumbles* Marik;s not even up there...

Marik-Congrats you're the first fanboy I've ever met. Hmm, well I don't want to marry Bakura, he's a guy, and I don't want Tea she's a bitch and a hoe. Hmm, I guess Mai, hey just because her stakes are fake doesn't mean she can't be a nice woman.

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Dear Bakura and Marik,Marik,1. What will you do when I have succeeded in taking over your Council of Doom and joined it with Kaiba Corp? * grins* yes that will be great... taking the Council for myself... if you refuse... Kol...Kol... Kol... Kol...2. Did you know that 4Kids wanted you to turn you into a girl but changed their minds?Bakura,1. Do you think that the original Japanese version or the 4Kids dub of Yu-Gi-Oh is better?2. Do you hate what 4kids had done to you?3. Me Russia? * laughs*I'm Arisu Kaiba! But you can call me that if you wish to. I like that Hetalia character!To Seto Kaiba,1. What do you think of me your great granddaughter?2. Do you have a theme song? Mine is Russia's character song Winter! * laughs like Shion from the anime Higurashi*3. Guess what Seto, one day.. everything will become one with Kaiba Corp...! I wish your little brother was my little brother... mine wants to marry me!*shudders* creepy right?To Yugi and friends:1. Yugi, why do you insist that magic is real? Get real... magic is a load of mumbo jumbo please don't be like England and start talking to a flying Mint Bunny, Uni the unicorn, or Tinkerbell! I do believe in ghosts though and it seems like I need to get you to be exorcised since that spirit you have inside your puzzle thing needs to go... * innocent smile*2. Can I have a hug? You're so Kawaii (cute)!Tea,1. Please tell me how to get people to stop avoiding me wherever I go? I feel sad when people run away from me... it makes me want to pound their faces with my trusty drain pipe...!2. Do you think it's annoying that most Yu-Gi-Oh fangirls hate you?3. Who do you like better Yugi or that Pharaoh spirit?

Marik- WTF!?. ...well, I guess that would make Bakura happy... but eww.

Bakura-Japanese version anyday. yes I do hate what they made us.

Kaiba-Hmm, I'm a bit busy now go play with Moki. Nope. Yes it will, yes very creepy

Yugi and friends- Hey, Magic is really real I'll prove it *Smokes crack* see Hey Dark Magician! *Waves*. Hmm sure *Opens arms*

Tea-Just believe in the power of friendship, it'll all work out. yes. Shit, yugi, pharaoh, yugi, pharaoh, yugi, pharaoh! STOP PRESSURING ME!


	5. Chapter 5

**Fullmetalcardgames** **says,**

**poofs from no where behind Bakura** HI! **no longer behind them** to Joey: Quit herpin in the derp box! To Kaiba: LOVE YAMI. to Yami: LOVE SETO to Rueky: sup To Marik: YOU AREN'T AS SEXY AS BAKURA IS!

Bakura-Hell-? the hell?

Joey-nyeh!

Kaiba-nope

Yami-Nope I love Yugi.

Rueky-Hey Kia! *Hugs* see I didn't squeeze you to death this time!

Marik-*Punches* I'm ten times sexier... *walks away with his hands in his pockets*

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Yami Marik,  
1. Will you become one with Kaiba Corp!?  
2. Why is your hair so spikey?  
3. Can I have your cape?  
Yugi,  
1. You... you... smoke crack?! I got to reveal that to all your fans! * runs out of Kaiba Corp and makes a live broadcast*  
Yugi's grandpa,  
1. I inherited Seto's Blue Eyes White Dragon cards I can give you one of them! Seto was so mean ripping your special card... * hands him the Blue Eyes card*  
2. Don't listen to what Seto says about your game shop personally I like small stores like yours. It's more lively. Don't tell Seto about that even though I own Kaiba Corp in the year 2026!  
Tea,  
I tried your advise but they still try to avoid me! They say I'm too scary!  
Joey,  
1. Why are you so awesome? I can give you discounts on all Kaiba Corp items if you want!  
2. What is it like living in 2012? I live in 2026!  
3. Do you like your original Japanese name or your dubbed name! Why 4Kids... Why!? I like your Japanese name!  
4. Do you know you're my favorite duelist of all time?

Mariku/Malik/YamiMarik/however you want it.-Maybe, I need to see whether it's worthy of my horiffic awe. I was also born that way. No *Hugs cape* my cape, mine don't touch it. l:

Yugi-*Is still high*

Yugi's grandpa-No, I cant take that, the card I have was from a friend, I appreciate the kind offer though. Ahaha smart girl.

Tea- hmm then give a friendship speach, if that doesn't work just broadcast yourself, someone in the same leage will find you.

Joey-sweet! umm, to me it's, normal? I like Jounochi it's so fun to say, Jounochi Jounochi, whoo! aww shucks, thanks.

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Question time yay.  
Bakura: Would you change your hair color or cut it? Marik: If you had to choose between being sexy and being famous which would you choose? Ryou: Would you switch your other me with Yugi? Joey: Do you really hate Seto? Mokuba: Why are you so cute? Seto: Why are you so mean? Yami: Why we're you so good at Duel Monster? In Egypt they were real and stone tablets. How did you adjust do quickly?

Bakura-I'd cut it and dye back to my ancient haircut...! I should do that!  
Ryou-No please!  
Bakura-Silence! *Runs to a barber shop*

Marik-being sexy, that's all that's important.

Ryou-well, I don't want to be mean and stick The Pharaoh with Bakura but,... *Sighs* no, I'd keep him.

Joey-he's so stressful my hair'll be grey if this keeps up.

Moki-cuze I'm a kid.

Seto-I'm over stressed, I am not mean.

Yami-It's not that different if you think about it.

**Mettherealworld says,**

Ryou- dont worry i wont leave you.  
Atem- if you didnt go to the afterlife and Yugi got like really hurt (sorry Yugi, i dont mean this in a bad way. i hope we could still be friends) what would you do  
oh yeah one more thing, no Bakura, just no. im full of mystical powers, so stabbing me wont do anything

Ryou-*Looks up with teary angel eyes* th-thank you! *buries head in your chest and cries softly*

Atem-*Evil auro appears and his voice changes to evil g-major(Minor?)* I would rip them limb from limb then tear out their soul so they'd have to watch me mutilate their worthless carcass! DON"T TOUCH MY YUGIIIIIII!

Bakura- whatever, I can still ignore you, and there's nothing you can do about that.

**Omnisilver says,**

Hai! :3 I haz a question for Marik! Teehee! -Marik, if Bakura confessed that he loves you, what would you say? And a question for 'Kura-kitty! -What the Hell are you waiting for? Teehee! That's all for now! Byeeeeeeee *prances away*la la la la laaa...

Marik-I'd tell him to dream on and find a gay guy, cause I'm so straight that's why straight is a word.

Bakura-I don't want that to happen *Points up to Marik's sentence* *Sighs and walks off*

Everyone-*watches her/him leave* she's/he's so creepy *shudders* (Not really don't take it seriously)


	6. Chapter 6

**Fullmetalcardgames says,**

To Marik: BITCH I'LL CALL SLENDERMAN ON YOU. YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID IS TRUE AND YOU JUST DON'T WANNA ADMIT IT. To Seto: *pushes him on top of Yami* NOW KISS BICHES. To Joey: nyeh yourself, buddy

Marik-oh fuck I'm so scared, jeez we already live in the same nieghborhood stupid. Bakura-don't insult my Egyptian spice or I'll tear you apart. Marik-Your Egyptian what? Bakura-Nothing nothing!

Seto-agh! *gets off* you kiss him bitch!

Joey-go hump a stump

Rueky-this is going to get violent Kia, *Gulps* i can tell.

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Hello again...more questions *smirks* Marik: If you were a girl, then would you date Bakura? Bakura: If you could have a pet what would it be? Seto: Why do i not believe that your overstressed? If you are take a vacation that's what they're for. Mokuba: If you take over Kaiba Corp would you change it? Yami: Do you miss your tan? Marik-*shifty eyes* maybe...

Bakura-... *tries to hide blush* egg eeerrg must resist GAH! I'd want a little itty bitty puff ball kitten *Slaps hands over mouth*

Seto- *Is working like crazy* does it look like I have time for a vacaction!

Moki-hmm, no, but I would add some stuff.

Yami- sort of, but I kinda like this new tone.

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Ishizu, 1. Can you stop my little brother from marrying me? He's currently clawing at my door screaming his head off saying Let's get MARRIED, MARRIED, MARRIED... I'm scared! 2. Would you please pick up Shadi? He walked into my office at Kaiba Corp and demanded that I let him stay at my house and won't leave me alone! Not that I mind though But beware that he may be traumatized after I pounded his face in with my trusty drainpipe when he ate all the food in my fridge! Kol... Kol...Kol... Kol... 3. Am I scaring you? I' m sorry if I am most people tend to avoid me because I am like Russia from Hetalia! * creepy grin* 4. Recently I was at the Domino Museum and found a strange tablet with me on it hitting someone with the Millennium Rod looking like a psycho freak can you please explain that? I'm scared of myself now... 5. HELP ME! * gets cut off*

Ishizu-umm, I predict some very bad shit is about to happen. *walks away slowly*

**Mettherealworld says,**

Rueky- sorry for me posting so much. dont hate me, Im finding this fun. could we still be friends :D Ryou- *puts arms around you* youre officially my new best friend. so going to write a story about us. (you can call me Cassie o.o) Joey- i bet i could beat you in a fight... wow that sounds weird coming from a girl, whatever Marik- If you dont like Bakura, then why did i see you two making out yesterday. o.o

Rueky- it's no problem, and I never said we couldn't be friends silly.

Ryou-oh um ok, Cassie...

Joey-Hah I bet ten bucks I could beat you.

Marik- I didn't! Bakura- I wish he had... *begins having fantasy*

**Mach 9 says,**

you still didn't answer my question.. Bakura. Now answer it or I'll you fluffy for the rest of your sad life! Because I like you enough, the forth person you could marry is malik, but he has the personility of tea, your choose! Yami no marik- what is your fav horror movie? Mine's Saw 5

Bakura-*Sighs* I think I can live with that, Marik calls me that anyway.

Mariku-Friggness I can't decide...

**Animechick 9000 (It's over 9000!) says,**

Tea- what are your thoughts about thornshipping? Bakura- how would a fan baby between you and malik look like and what would you call him or her Malik- your theme song should totally be I'm Sexy and I Know it!

Tea- can you remind me what that is again? sorry.

Bakura-(Im stealing this from Thiefshipper 101's story, 'but it's impossible', because I think it's accurate)-He would have very pale blonde almost white hair that would grow to be in between Marik's hair and mine, he'd have blueish purple eyes and he'd be a very light tan, and we'd call him Yukio. *Smiles*

Marik-It already is.


	7. Chapter 7

**Omnisilver says,**

why you no awnser my review ;n; omnisilver is sad for no awnser...

Rueky-*tilts head to the side* which one? I'm sure I did.

**Fullmetalcardgames says,**

To Marik: *calls entire slender man family over* HAVE FUN.  
To Bakura: ok, fine, I don't care. Clearly you aren't TRUELY British if your threatining to hurt a girl come at me bro I have an entire assassin's weaponry stash to use.  
To Rueky: yes, yes it is.  
To Joey: that didn't even make sense!

Marik-WooHoo! Bakura get the punch I'll get the food!

Bakura-smart girl I'm not truely British, only my other me, remember? I'm originally Egyptian.

Rueky-*Hangs head and sighs* why?

Joey-NYEH!

**Otakunessandgamer says,**

Malik- Besides being evil, what can you actually do? (Apart from your so-called sexiness, if you have one)  
Ryou- Have you fought off Bakura through mind link once before?  
Yugi- If your Aibou, or Atem, didn't have to go into the afterlife, how would you react?  
The other Yugi(Yami)- If I had managed to somehow land on Yu-Gi-Oh, told your past and whatnot, how would you react?  
Jonouchi/Joey- If I had the guts to fight, you would be my idol! (But seriously, I hate fighting and I love peace!)  
Honda/Tristan- Between you and your best buddy, which one of you would fare better in a fight?  
Anzu/Tea- I'm okay with your friendship speeches and such, but why other people seem to disagree with it?  
Marik- If you had known in the first place that you stabbed (sent to the shadow realm from 4kids, I've heard) your father, would you still go after pharaoh? (Of course, after hearing Shadi's voice)  
Bakura- Seriously though, although I'd pitied you about your Kul Elna massacre, you should have just gone after that one person! The Pharaoh (Atem's father) himself didn't even know about this!  
Shadi- Uhh, if you're there Shadi...-gulps- C-could you kindly use your Key to look into my mind? Just like you did to Yugi! I wanna know my inner self!

Malik-Umm,... I can stab people? does that count? oh and I can also devise evil kidanpping plans that are full proof.

Ryou-Yes and once I won because it was a life/death situation for a friend of mine.

Yugi-*Bounces up and down squealing* wait you mean if? *whimpers*

Yami-well, thanks now I don't have to ruin innocent antagonist lives.

Jou-Why thank you very much!

Honda- My voice gives me super strength, of course I'd beat Jou.

Anzu-*shruggs* they say they're annoying.

Marik-no, i probably would have gotten someone to exorcist me

Bakura-hey, he destroyed my whole village so I have the right to destroy his whole village.

Shadi-*looks at you supprised* umm ok sure...

**Isis th says,**

yami- OMG SQUEE! I LOVE AUTHORESS POWERS! HERES A CUPCAKE AND AN ASSAULT RIFLE WITH UNLIMITED AMMO! CAN U PLEASE SHOOT THE HECK OUT OF TEA FOR ME? THANKS! SQUEE!

Yami-ok *shoots tea*

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Yugi,  
1. If your world was ruled by cats what would you do?  
Pegasus,  
1. What would you do if I forced your company to become one with Kaiba Corp?  
2. Do you like sunflowers?  
3. Do you like anime? If so what is your favorite? I like Hetalia!  
4. I stole the Millennium eye thing while Bakura wasn't looking do you want it back?  
Marik,  
1. Do you know that in the year 2026 people duel on motorcycles?  
Mokuba.  
1. Do you like Russian Matroshyka dolls?  
2. Can you sing the song that never ends and annoy Seto?

Yugi-*Shruggs* maybe keep one, Im not as crazy about them as the Bakura's are.

Pegasus-I have a company? yes they're beautiful. My fav. is Inuyasha. yes please *holds out hand*

Marik-That's impossible.

Moki-I don't know what that is. Sure!

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Bakura: If you had to choose between going to hell and listening to Tea's friendship speeches which would you choose?  
Marik: Can you help me with my history homework?  
Seto: Lend me money!  
Yami: Can you marry Yugi, please?  
Yugi: Marry Yami damn it.  
Joey: Is your dad still a drunk? God, i hate him.

Bakura-I've already been damned to hell.

Marik-I'll try.

Seto-*Chunks a hundred at your head*

Yami-Got a ring?

Yugi-Meep! he has to ask me!

Joey-Idk I haven't seen him for a while actually...


	8. Chapter 8

**Mettherealworld says,**

Joey-... when and where. When and where Wheeler. wow that sounds really sexual. damn my perverted band mind.  
Atem- you should marry Yugi... that would be really cute. great there goes my inner fangirl.  
Ryou- im sorry ;_; *cries in a corner*  
Bakura- what were you talking about with that fantasy you mentioned. o.o

Joey-*Unzips pants* i'll go there.

Atem-*Takes deep breath* ok, I'm going to do it. I'm gunna do it!

Ryou-*Pats your shoulder* it's ok.

Bakura-when you said what if Marik said he loved me, I began thinking about what it'd be like.

**Phantombrat says,**

For Yugi, Got any advice for a girl who likes to use spellcasters and dragons as deck themes? I admit that I tried to use a deck centered around Maha Vailo, but got wiped out. Exodia failed as well against another Exodia deck. Help please...  
For Marik, Your cards are pretty cool. What's your favorite one that you have?  
For Joey, You're like my all-time favorite secondary Yu-gi-oh person! The guys that I hang out with that watch the anime say that I'm nuts for liking you and asked why I like you. I told them that it's mainly because I'm new to the TCCG games and now I can kick their butts at the game. I went against a modified Marik-themed deck with an unmodified one and totally won! But going against Syncros and XYZ monsters...forget it, I lose every time. Got any advise for a fangirl?  
Yami, Have you ever thought to steal Bakura's cards, burn them and send their ashes to the Shadow Realm? What about his weapons collection?  
Bakura, What's your worst fear?  
Ryou, Do you think that Bakura is insecure about himself and that that's why he's so mean?  
Mokuba, How do you feel about a girl on 5D's stealing your style and going Darkside?

Yugi(Rueky)-I'm really just starting out and I'm building a gravekeepers deck so unfortunatly I have no advice that would be useful sorry

Marik-Ra duh.

Joey9Rueky)-same as yugi

Yami-I did try one, I ended up with a broken leg...

Bakura-losing Marik or reliving Kul Elna.

Ryou-Yes he's lost so much it's really sad, that's why no matter how bad he treats me I never abandon him

Moki-Forget her

**OtakunessandGamer says,**

Malik- You're being too evil that way! Gosh, you're so mentally insane! (Even though you're Marik's other half...) -finds myself in front of a sharp kinfe- Wait...you're not serious now, are you?  
Ryou- Hmm...life/death situation...could it be...?!  
Yugi- I mean he...welll...eventually...-finds Yugi sobbing- Don't cry! I mean...he has to eventually go...right? Then how does he find peace then? Of course I'm also sad that he has to go but...well! If ya probably knew this beforehand, would you grab his hand before he even went in? (Of course he might be a little mad, but still...)  
Yami- really? You wouldn't do that?  
Jou- You're welcome!  
Honda- Super...strength? -sweatdrops- I wonder how he thinks about that...  
Anzu- annoying? Wow...and also, I hadn't realised the drawing of friendship you did was a smiley face until sort of...recently. I thought it was some sort of unique one!  
Marik- exorcism? Seriously?  
Bakura- Really now? An eye for an eye? Does that calm the storm then?  
Shadi- -squeals then sweatdrops- Uh, how did it fare? Am I good or bad or...?  
Kaiba Seto- Hey you! Yes, Kaiba Seto! Have you ever thought to donate money to charity once in a while?! (Other than excuses of being busy in your damned work...)  
Mokuba/Moki- Why are you named Moki?  
Odion- If you knew that there's another way other than keeping yourself alive for the sake of Marik, would you do that?  
To author (Rueky Ishtar)- How long are you going to do this for?  
Pegasus- I'd pity you and your wife, Cecelia, but you needn't go and do that "game" thing you did to Yugi/Yami! If you of course, hadn't stayed at that point and just left, I think your future would be much more better that way! Living till of old age! That ain't bad now, ain't it?

Malik-*stuffs you in a bag and runs off*

Ryou-*Tilts head* what?

Yugi-I-I d-don't want him to g-g-go! *Hugs you and cries harder*

Yami-yeah, it'd save me a lot of grief.

Jou-*Smiles*

Honda-how who thinks about what?

Marik-what it'd work.

Bakura- yes it does!

Shadi-well, no ones perfect but you aren't bad, your a pretty good kid.

Seto-Yeah, when I have the time

Moki-It's my nickname Seto gave me while we were in the orphanage

Odion-umm I'd like to stay alive, and protect my little brother at the same time, it's just normal for me heh.

Rueky-Till people stop.

Pegasus-yeah, i guess I 've just been mourning over the years I guess I was just being dramatic.

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Yami: Did he say yes?  
Seto: If Moki asked for a pet what would you get him?  
Moki: If you asked for a pet, what would you want?  
Bakura: Do you like the body you had in Egypt or the body you shared with Ryou? (I know weird ? O_O)  
Yugi: Do you like to finger paint?  
Joey: If you could make over your entire room what would it look like?

Yami-YES YES YES YES YES YES! *Jumps around squealing in joy*

Seto-whatever he said or close enough to what he said.

Moki-I'd want a dog.

Bakura-I like them both but I think my old body was a bit better 1. it was my original body 2. I was stronger faster and *Blushes slightly with a smirk* bigger hehe.

Yugi-yeah when I was six.

Joey- A kick ass duel tournament looking room, like the ones you see on room redesign!

**Thornpeltoflife says,**

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE*evil grin(to evil)* for everyone- what would u do if i turned all of u into an animil of meh choosen bakura u would be a kitten HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAH*bro slaps me*ow...hey seto u would be a spikey dragon hehehehehee yugi a hawk (came to meh in a dream)joey a dog(had to)tristan a mouse tea ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmm*pounds head*what were u supposed to be?! OH YA a parrot (since i dont feel like sayin every one im do a few more)marik a fish(piarannna) u would hav ur yamis as one so u would be the same i dont wanna do the figgen yamis oh and moka(i call ya that mokuba) u a geco :D

Everyone-NO!

**Animechick 9000 says,**

Tea- Thornshipping is a yu-gi-oh pairing between you and Mariku Ryou- sorry about amane (I read the manga) what happen to her? Yugi- where's your dad? I seen your mom before...But not your dad Bakura- if you had your own body, what would be the first you'll do? Rueky Ishtar- congats! You're the first person to actally guess why I put the 9000! (:

Tea-Hmmm...  
Mariku-no that's final.

Ryou-she died in a car crash, with my mom... *Brushes away tears*

Yugi-He left us.

Bakura-Fuck Marik Ishtar senseless

Me-Whoo!

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Pegasus,  
1. Yes you do remember Industrial Illusions?  
2. Here's your Millennium eye thing back! * hands him the eye*  
3. Can you make me a Toon Blue Eyes White Dragon card?  
Shadi,  
1. Why did you demand that I let you live with me at the Kaiba mansion? My scary little brother might try to stab you with his knife!  
2. * in a creepy voice with scary purple aura* How did it feel when I pounded your stupid face into dust with my drainpipe? * in normal voice* Thanks to you I had Roland restock my fridge!  
Seto,  
1. Why did you have green hair in season zero?  
Yami,  
1. Did you know that I was their in that weird memory world dream place thing spying on you the entire time? Lets just say that my past self an I had a little "fun" messing around with peoples minds... * Rolls on the Kaiba Corp office floor laughing like crazy*  
2. Do you think I'm insane or just eccentric?  
3. Do you want a cupcake? * hands him a cupcake* it has one of my very " special" ingredients in it. ( filled with Russian vodka)  
4. Why were you so mean in the first half of season zero?  
Mokuba,  
1. Matroshyka dolls are dolls that open up to reveal a smaller one inside it and every time you open one it gets smaller and smaller.

Pegasus-Oh yeah, silly me. Thanks so much!I'll see what i can do.

Shadi-when did that happen? umm *Disappears*

Seto-I was still in early development

Yami-Hope you had fun then hugh... Both. sure *eats and nothing happens* I was just like seto, in early development.

Moki-How cool now I want one!


	9. Chapter 9

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Bakura: Why do you hate cats?  
Marik: If you were british would you sound weird?  
Joey & Kaiba: Do you like each other? I can see the look in your eyes when you two fight. You can't hide it. *smirks*  
Yugi & Yami: Same question that i asked Joey & Kaiba. Do you like each other?  
Ryou: If you could be a cat for a whole day; who would you have watch you? I know i would.

Bakura-I don't hate cats I just hate it when people call me a cat.

Marik-Most likely.

Jou-*Mutters illegibly  
Kaiba-I'm too buzy to love

Yugi-*shows off his engagment ring*

Ryou-Mariku takes really good care of me already so maybe him.

**Mettherealworld says,**

Joey-someones really damn horny  
Yami and Yugi- congrats. you two make a good couple.  
Rueky- I like you so far. you seem cool.  
Mai- (more because no one asked you anything) Would you ever hook up with Joey

Joey-*blushes hard then runs off*

Yami&Yugi-Thanks, the weddings on valentines day you can come if you want.

Rueky-*Glomps* thanks!

Mai-He's kind of intresting I guess, *sees him run by with his pants still unzipped* nevermind...

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Mokuba,  
1. Here you go! * hands him a Matroshyka doll* have fun with it!  
Seto,  
1. * smiles at him innocently yet menecing* Go on vacation now! I'm the CEO in 2026 so I can handle the work da ( yes)? * pushes him off his chair and sends him to Russia*  
Jounochi,  
1. Can I have a hug?  
2. Have you seen me in memory world? I was the one who was messing with random people's minds with my insanity! Care to join me in doing that the next time I take a time off of Kaiba Corp?

Moki-Cool! thanks!

Seto-Whatever, *walks off secretly jumping for joy*

Jou-Sure *hugs* nope but I'd love that!

**Deathgirl-chan says,**

Hello! Warning: I'm a hardcore yaoi fangirl so... Yami: If Yugi and Bakura switched personalities what would you do? Yugi & Ryou: Do you mind heartshipping? (RyouxYugi) Yami Marik: Are you SURE you're straight? POSITIVE? Bakura: If Yami Marik asked you out, what would you do? Oh! And before I forget! I wrote a fanfic where Marik makes Yugi and Ryou wear sexy skimpy outfits in a music video so what are you guys thoughts on that? Well I gotta go on my dutys of death!

Everyone-*gulp*

Yami-I'd tear out Bakura's soul and put Yugi back in,cause I can do that.

Yugi-s-sorry I'm already engaged  
Ryou-And I'm taken...

Yami Marik-unlike my other me I am in fact proud to be gay.

Bakura-I like his other half better, besides he's dating my hikari.

Rueky-Cool I'll go check it out.

**Mach 9 says,**

Tea: what if you were a tomboy? Yami: what if you dressed like miku from vocaloid Mariku: got any murder advice to your fans?

Tea-umm... I don't know I've never really thought of that.

Yami-I don't think I can even grow my hair out that long...

Mariku-give no mercy! *Slashs people with a chainsaw*

**My name is BK-201 (does the BK stand for burger king? sorry I had to ask) says,**

Hey guys, I have a question (well duh, this is an advice column! *smacks herself*) Anyway, my question is; aren't you guys getting tired of getting the question where ether or not you guys are a pair and yes Marik, I know you're straight, so you dont have to tell me. -_- Btw, my friend calls herself Marik but that's cuz her RL-name looks like it! 8D Just wanted to say that now potato bye! Ps; Bakura, Ryo; you guys are awesome!

Everyone-YES thank you finally someone gets it!

Rueky-cool, I call myself Marik too, but because I have a sucky life similar to his.

B&R-thanks.

**OtakunessandGamer** **says, **

Malik- -struggles inside bag, manages to get out eventually- Phew! I thought for a moment there, I was gonna run out of energy...  
Ryou- Hmm, you might not remember this though, so I'm not gonna say it.  
Yugi- -bawls together with you- I KNOW! I don't want him to go! But I'm not exactly there so I can't pull him away from the afterlife!  
Yami- Okay...anyway, Yugi and I was just talking about you, did you happen to know that?  
Honda- I mean you and Jonouchi! ...is he listening onto this?  
Marik- Uh, well...I don't know...like, saying that 'Oh Malik, you may reside in me but please don't use me', something like that? Call it a pernament truce? Hope he's not listening to this though...  
Bakura- Okay, fine then...next question, because I know that I'm gonna come with questions, yes to you Bakura, ...if you had reigned victory, meaning that you have won and the pharaoh has lost, how would you react? And what would you do to him after that? And...I'm pretty much talking about the present day-ish. Not on Egypt. He was too young to know about this then.  
Shadi- -squeals out loud but pauses- Wait, meaning? I know you are the one with the riddles all the time, but what do you mean?  
Seto- -raises eyebrows- meaning? And what 'time' are you referring to?  
Moki- Heh...orphanage...you must be pretty cute back then.  
Rueky- Really? If I stop and people stop, you would stop?  
Pegasus- Okay...anyway, I currently have two decks though, the latter bought recently (because I just wanted to get another) and well...how would you materialize yourself into our world?

Malik/Mariku-*stabs a drug into your arm and puts you back in the sack* *Wistles as he walks home*

Ryou-ok then...

Yugi-*Sobs like a teenage girl*

Yami-no I did not  
Yugi-*Still crying in the background*

Honda-no

Marik-that sounds like I'd be asking him to rape me... seriously read it and tell me it doesn't sound like that.

Bakura-dance on the pharaohs worthless hole of a grave and rule the kingdom with true justice. oh wait present day? oh, eh nothing really to do...

Shadi-*shrugs* i don't know the creaters made me like this.

Seto-what? (sorry I totally forgot!)

Moki-yeah, can't believe no one adopted me.

Rueky-yeah there would be no point to keep it up if no one asked questions

Pegasus-By destroying the 4th wall duh.

**Fullmetalcardgames says,**

IM BACK BICHES.  
Yami Marik: hey since Bakura doesnt seem to like me, do you:)?  
Joey: hey. Hey. Woof

Yami Marik-Nah.  
Rueky-If it makes you feel any better I like you.

Joey- *looks at you dully* meow...

* * *

**I am a lazy bitch who doesn't deserve to live TT^TT so sorry I'm late dudes.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okkkkkay big announcement, it would seem there's a wedding about to happen for Yami and Yugi so on valentine's day I'm going to post a wedding story, now everyone who want's to will be in it but they will not be mentioned for no OC rules, so just wanted to let you know have fun! also voting contest, who wants yugi in a dress and who wants yugi in a suit?**

* * *

**Fullmetalcargames says,**

To Rueky: well you're my friend. So I already knew that.  
To Joey: WOOF WOOF WOOF you damn dog.  
To Yami Marik: why not?

Rueky-meow. *Rubs against your leg, purring*

Joey-*Flips you off and walks off*

Yami Marik-You're crazy that's why.

Rueky-guys behave please! she's not that bad!

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Ryou: Do you ever wish you had a lifetime supply of cream puffs?  
Seto: GET YOUR WORKAHOLIC ASS OUT OF THE OFFICE AND FIND SOME LOVE. NO WONDER YOUR A GROUCH ALL DAMN DAY. *laughs*  
Yami: Can i come to the wedding too?  
Yugi: Are you going to wear a dress or a suit?  
Joey: Do you want a pet? I think you would like a cat.

Ryou-all the time

Seto-No one is worth my supreme looks and awesomeness.

Yami-everyone's invited.

Yugi-*gasps* that's right I need to decide! *Begins making a checklist*

Joey-Nah too fragile, a badass dog would be better.

**My name is BK-201 says,**

No, BK-201 is the name of a guy in Darker than Black. His normal name's Hei, but I thought this'd be cool. New question; to you Rueky; if you could posses an millenium item, which would be? Mine'd be the puzzle of course... *glances at Atem/Yami*

Rueky-Ok haha sorry. The rod most definatly

**idurtandtrudi says, **

hello! How do you make a murder look like a suiside?

Mariku-well first you clean all of your blood off the victim so police cant find DNA the carefully apply the victims blood to the device of murder the write a quick sloppy note saying why he/she comittes suicide

**SpecialKcereal says,**

Greetings oh awesome Yu-Gi-Oh characters and great Authoress! My first question applies to all of you: how are you this happy un-birthday?  
To Ryou: what is your favorite color, and why? (Here is an un-birthday cake. I think you deserve it!)  
To Bakura: Have you ever heard of pipe bombs? (I couldn't be sure since you originate from ancient Egypt) If you have, who would you target with said pipe bomb? Also, you are most excellent, but I would suggest you hunt down Zorc and destroy him.  
To Marik: on a scale of one to ten, how annoyed do you get at how often people question your straightness? By the way, I just thought I would mention you were probably one of the scariest villains, even before Yami Malik took over. (I hope that doesn't insult you...)  
Yami Malik: Just out of pure curiosity, what is your favorite type of good, and what is your opinion of Kaiba? In addition I love your evilness, very very sinister..  
Seto Kaiba: if you could change only one in your past, what would it be? Also... (Sorry I'm a fan of your genius, and your sense of humor) you are really super freaking awesome!  
To Authoress of most supreme magnificence: I'm sorry this was so very long. I had to cut it in half, because I have questions for the 'good guys' too. Anyway! This is most wonderfully grand! Here is an un-birthday cake for you because this has been great to read!  
So long and fair well! I have tea to poor and people to terrorize into being my slaves!

everyone-oh great another overly obsessed alice in wonderland fangirl... (don't take it personally!)

Ryou-Lightblue/silver, cause it reminds my of Ammie's (Amane's) hair.

Bakura-yes, and yes I would target one at zorc

Marik-ten billion! hey thanks! in yo face Kura!  
Bakura-Kura?  
Marik-BA-kura dummy  
Bakura-fuck *Pouts*

Yami Marik-um I'm linked to Marik so my fav. food would be Koshari

Seto-nothing, it's fucking perfect.(I have a sense of humor?) finally someone gets it.

Rueky-oh thanks *Eats the cake* dun worry about length though. Oooh ooh! can I go get slaves wif you?!

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

I have a question for everyone! What country personification from Hetalia would you be personality wise?

Rueky-*Groans loudly* do I have to? *Sighs* this is what you get for writing a column Rue... forgive me if I forget someone...

Yugi-Italy

Yami-Germany

Marik-Romano

Bakura-Spain/England

Ryou-Canada

Yami Marik-Russia

Joey-America

Tristen-umm... i don't know actually...

Tea-Ukraine

Mai-France

Pharaoh Atem-Holy Roman empire

Thief Bakura-England

Rishid-Japan

Isis-Germany

Rueky-Italy on sugar. heh that wasn't too bad actually...

**Mach 9 says,**

Malik if you were a girl, would you consider dating bakura? Ryou who would you cosplay? Bakura what you prefer, being in a cage in a neko suit while singing popipo? or being tied in chair while watching the most mushiest movie in the world?

Marik-Mayyyyybeeeeee...

Ryou-Myself! I'm that cute!

Bakura-*Bangs head against the wall* fuck you fangirls!


	11. Chapter 11

**Mettherealworld says,**

Yugi- Thanks for the invite :D im definitely going. I dont think i could see you or Yami in a dress.. *thinks about it* ewwwwww. My brain just died thinking about that *leaves because she is mentally scared for life*  
Joey- still want to fight or not. Or do you want some... Never mind. im not going to say that on here.  
Ryou- *hugs and says nothing*

Yugi-*frowns* ok... (suit 1 dress 0)

Joey-*face palms and simply walks away*

Ryou-o-ok you can let go now...

**Theabridgedkuriboh says,**

Seto: If you had to choose between losing the company and dating Joey which would be better? (Sorry Joey)  
Yami: If you were half of an animal what would you want to be your animal half?  
Yugi: Do you like hot cocoa?  
Ryou: How do you get yourself so cute in the morning? And how long do you take in the morning to do it?

Seto-*opted out*

Yami-dragon, no wolf, no ehh...

Yugi-yeah, everyone likes hot cocoa!

Ryou-it's all natural, and it takes litterally no time at all I wake up poof I'm adorable!

**Fullmetalcardgames says,**

To Everyone: I...I'm that terrible...? ;-;  
Rueky: Marik is NOT like Romano...just sayin...He'd be France in my opinion, Yami Bakura would be Romano.

Everyone except Kura and Mariku-Nah you're cool.

Rueky-dis be mah advis colum u not happiz go make yo own!

**Mach 9 says,**

Thief bakura- how did you get your coat?

Akefia- It was my father's *Tries to hide a sad face*

**Italy has a pasta gun says,**

Seto,  
1. How was your vacation in Russia?  
2. Did you meet up with my friend the personification of Russia?  
Yami,  
1. What will you do if I turned Yugi into a kitten? * turns Yugi into a kitten  
Bakura,  
1. Want a cupcake? * hands out poisoned filled cupcake with an innocent Russia like smile*  
2. I'm right behind you! * steals millennium Ring and runs off to Kaiba Corp*

Seto-Pretty good. no I didn't hmm...

Yami-*Squeezes yugi* oops! *lets go* don't wanna hurt you before the wedding!

Bakura-*eats it and doesn't die* Hey! *Chases you*

**My name is BK-201 says,**

No probs. Why the rod? Because of it's ability or...? *glances at Marik this time*

Rueky-Both

**OtakunessandGamer says,**

Malik- WHAT! -hugs body tightly due to heat flowing through and heavily gasps for breath- MALIK! -stops panting and smiled crudely- Malik, Malik...you've done it...-a butcher knife appears out of nowhere in my hand- Watch out now...I'm coming for you...  
-Due to high on drugs, one of my OC's will take over-  
Uh hi, I'm Kaigo-chan! Since my authoress is temporarily unavailable, I'll be taking over her for now, she has her questions and answers prepared already though...-clears throat-  
Marik- I have reread that statement myself...it doesn't seem too much on raping though...  
Bakura- Wait-worthless grave?! And ruling true kingdom with true justice?! Gosh...at least you're sort of...not as bad as Malik now, are you?  
Seto- (Seto's line, 'When I have the time')  
This part will be me, Kaigo-chan talking, just wanted to add things, ahem...she didn't check the comment, so I'm not sure whether she has it correct or not...  
Moki- NO ONE?! I can't believe it! But wait, you eventually got adopted, right?  
Rueky- I see...  
Uh, Rueky-sama, is this true?  
Pegasus- Like how...?  
What's a forth wall?

Mariku-It wasn't that kind of drug fool!

Rueky-*waves* hi!

Marik-*sighs* i'm just not going to say it ok?

Bakura-yeah, tis true...

Seto-...?

Moki-Well I guess it counted when Seto was adopted.

Rueky-well yes as I said there would be no advice column if no one talked, cause that's kinda the point.

Pegasus-The boundery between the real world and your cartoon anime world.

**SpecialKcereal says,**

Hello once again! (Believe it or not, I do not actually like Alice in Wonderland that much, but I was hyper, and watching said movie...) I hope you are all doing good! Also, I want to apologize to Ryou, because I said in this review I would be asking the good people questions, but Ryou was in the last one and he wasn't exactly an antagonist...  
Yami: If there was one thing you could do differently, what would it be? Also...Best hero ever!  
Yugi: in the 4kids version during battle city, Yami spent most of the time in control...did you ever get bored?  
Joey: Should you ever beat Kaiba in a duel, what would you say to him, and why? Besides that, I admire how loyal a friend you are!  
Tea: What type of music do you most enjoy dancing to? And...congrats on being a kind person...  
Tristen: What would you do for more screen time? Besides that good job at rescuing Mokuba. I think Kaiba shoulda said something...  
Awesome authoress: absolutely! Thanks for updating so quickly, and not minding the length!

Fair well. I have special children card games to learn, and an army to create!

Ryou-It's no problem really...

Yami-If at all posible, I would have stopped my uncle from destroying Kul Elna, then this mess wouldn't even have started. thanks, but Yugi's the real hero

Yugi-Nah my sould room has video games and Okami took over 40 hours to beat.

Joey-Eat it mutt! *Laughs evilly* Eh, don't go getting mushy with me...

Tea-I like listening and dancing to pop. thanks you're so sweet.

Tristen-A-N-Y-TIIIIIIING!... All in a days work no thanks required.

Rueky-Awesome authoress? FINALLY SOMEONE GETS IT!


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys I regret to inform you that unfortunatly my internet has been killed so I can't write stories and wont be able to make the wedding story for valentines day, I'm so so sorry to all my fans out there, It'll be probably a very long time before I'm able to write again, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving or stopping, I'm just. 'On HITAS' I guess you could say. Anyways I'm sorry but just remember I love all you guys and will not stop writing for a while I WILL FIND A WAY!**

**Kay see ya bros bless you face peace bye advitace aloha see ya farewell adou advoi goodbye.**


End file.
